Humor Deux

Anything and everything until something is done to categorize all things.

Re: Humor Deux

Postby pesetas » Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:58 pm

uh-huh :RubberNecker:
"The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy's will to be imposed on him"
- Sun Tzu

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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Your Hero Jed » Wed Aug 19, 2009 2:32 pm

An officer pulls a lady over for speeding. As he starts to write the ticket, the asks if it's true that police don't give tickets to attractive women. The officer replies that this is true and hands her the ticket.

An officer pulls a man over for speeding. The man is irate and unruly. when the officer hands the man his ticket to sign, the guy notices and A H next to where his name goes. He asks the officer what this is for. The officer replies that when he goes to court, he likes to have notes to remember how the person acted. So that man asked what A H stood for? The offer simply says it stands for @$$hole. So the man gets angrier and yells i'll see you in court.

In court the officer takes the stand and the defendant's lawyer asks him if he ever makes notations on his tickets? The officer states that he indeed does, it help during court. Then the lawyer asks if he wrote A H on his clients ticket and what does it stand for? So the officer replies he did and it stands for Aggressive and Hostile. Then the lawyer says, "are you sure it doesn't mean @$$hole?" To which the cop relied, "well sir, you know your client better than i do."
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Pixie » Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:34 pm

Jasper, I thought you, and others who have trouble with this, would enjoy it. I got a good laugh, for sure!

http://xkcd.com/313/
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Re: Humor Deux-Something in the water

Postby Majik » Thu Aug 20, 2009 3:21 pm

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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Majik » Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:55 pm

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Re: Humor Deux

Postby pesetas » Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:14 pm

EW! :ROFL:
"The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy's will to be imposed on him"
- Sun Tzu

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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Aunt Jemima » Wed Sep 23, 2009 6:24 pm

Oldie but goodie:


>SELECT * FROM tblUsers WHERE clue > 0
0 rows returned


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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Majik » Wed Oct 14, 2009 8:25 pm

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Re: Humor Deux

Postby *FDB*Hakko » Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:35 pm

??
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Harris » Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:56 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuIL8OX1o2s

Make sure to click either allow or deny in the video otherwise it wont make any sense.
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Pixie » Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:18 pm

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
-Jack Handey
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Pixie » Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:22 pm

There's even a Packman section! It totally made me miss the Pacman map on TF2 -- Good days!

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
-Jack Handey
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Pixie » Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:27 pm

Housekeeping Husband

My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping
would be a snap if only she would organize her time better.
Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice
while his wife was away.

When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he
crowed, "I made a cake and frosted it; washed the kitchen
windows; cleaned all the cupboards; scrubbed the kitchen
floor, walls, and ceiling; and even had a bath."

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager
than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making
the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer
before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do
all the rest."
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
-Jack Handey
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby MacK » Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:51 pm

LOL - I liked the video too. I totally forgot it was out there... I saw the post at work back in December and meant to look at it after I got home.
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby StrongMAD » Thu Jan 28, 2010 11:06 pm

I love the idea that baking a cake comes under housekeeping.... (and taking a bath for that matter)
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby MacK » Fri Feb 26, 2010 3:23 pm

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Here's to you, as good as you are, And here's to me, as bad as I am, But as good as you are and as bad as I am, I'm as good as you are, bad as I am.
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Pixie » Mon Mar 01, 2010 6:59 pm

Letter of Recommendation:

To Whom is May Concern:

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often, Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
coffee breaks. Bob is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classified as a high-caliber employee, the type that cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.

Regards,
Project Leader

KEEP READING...

Shortly thereafter, the HR department received the following memo from the Project Leader:

Sorry, but the idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines for my assessment.

Regards,
Project Leader
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
-Jack Handey
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby Pixie » Fri Mar 19, 2010 12:26 am

Welcome to My World...
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“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
-Jack Handey
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby SOLID_COBRA » Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:12 pm

Hello everyone. I'm new to TF2 and to this forum. I'm a friend of Pixie. Anyway's, I showed this youtube clip to her and she said I should post a link in this thread. It's the Medic and the Heavy dancing. This clip along with 4 others featuring the Spy, Pyro, Sniper and Demo were featured in PCGamer's website. The link below is of the Heavy and the Medic. The other 4 classes should be in the list to the right of the video. ENJOY!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-Qlz2631Ic&playnext_from=TL&videos=GRCG62xedqQ
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Re: Humor Deux

Postby MacK » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:51 pm

Welcome, Cobra. Pixie sent you? Oh great, what is she up to again?!! Don't worry too much about the Pixie effect - it does eventually wear off... Oh, and yes, I do have permission to pick on her. It's a family thing.
:ROFL:
On the side, the video was awesome. Wonder how they modeled those videos...
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